WHO KILLED UBIQUE?!
Well, I’m not very happy about this article, my head still hurts from being thrown out that window. Headaches and feelings hurt aside, enjoy this spy-thriller-adventure-kinda-hit-peice by my arch nemeses, Maddie and Naomi.
-editors note
~
spooooky
~ spooooky
It was an ordinary winter day when we found it. It was another Wednesday, and we headed leisurely towards 1012, fully expecting another predictable day of investigation. Everything was as it should be. But as we climbed up the steep slope of steps leading towards our destination, an air of darkness began to seep into our bones, a sense of dread filling our soul. Trepidation now colouring our steps, we recommenced our journey towards the Ubique classroom, our destination. Yet when we pushed open the door, gasps were ripped from our mouth, for this… this was not the Ubique we knew.
Chairs were strewn around, teared-up pages of writing littered the floor, and a breeze blew in from the now-open window, picking up lolly wrappers and blowing them across the floor. In the midst of it all, a computer lay smashed and broken, screen cracked and metal twisted. And the room was completely empty, devoid of the life Wednesday lunches usually brought. In the face of this devastating sight, we exclaimed:
“WHO KILLED UBIQUE!?”
by Naomi and Maddie
Now, investigators as we are, we knew that this mystery could not go unsolved. So it was decided: we would get to the bottom of this, find the one who murdered our beloved Ubique. But first, we needed some suspects. After thoroughly analyzing the scene, we knew there was only one conclusion that could be made: the killer was… a member of Ubique. There was no-one else who would know the time and location, as well as the weaknesses required to break Ubique. So, with heavy hearts, we set off to interrogate the first suspect.
Our first suspect to be interrogated was Esther, and her potential motive was quickly ascertained: if Ubique no longer existed, it would be one less thing standing between her and Naomi, one less thing taking up time where they could be together. So, we approached her, ready to make sure the dastardly killer of Ubique would come to light. But alas, her alibi was sound.
“I could not have been the killer, for I was with Naomi since several hours before the murder took place. Only after the time of death did we part ways, and thus, I am innocent!”
This evidence was indeed true, and we could not deny its soundness. Esther was not the killer we were seeking. So we continued onward, eyes set forward towards our next suspect.
The next on our list was one Bridget Costelloe, our supervisor in our Ubique - related endeavors. It was obvious why she would gladly kill Ubique: she had to provide snacks and supervision to annoying kids each Wednesday. The motive was clear as glass; we just needed proof. We pulled out our trusty substance detection kit, inspecting the array of biscuits, candy and warm drinks for any sign of poison.
For hours and hours, we interviewed suspect after suspect, but all had alibis as strong as our investigating skills, and so we slowly but surely became more dejected as we interrogated every last person we could find. But soon, there was no one left. We turned to each other, the same idea in our mind.
“Do you think… it could be one of us?”
Indeed, the only people we had not investigated were ourselves, so convinced we were of our own innocence. But what if that was all just a lie? As realization dawned on our faces, an announcement rang out across the quad, announcing that Game Dev Club would be running this Wednesday lunch. Our eyes widened. That was who we forgot! That little gremlin, forgettable, but now he had done something unforgivable!! In unison, we sprinted towards the nearest flight of stairs. We had cracked the case. Now, all we had to do was stop the perpetrator’s evil plan from being set in motion.
Hearts racing, we sprinted towards the vice principal’s office, the imposing door stopping us but for a split second before we burst through, causing the room to go into split silence as we screamed “DON’T DO IT!”.
Before us was a sight: the vice principals gathered around some ominous-looking paperwork, and before them, a short Italian child with a hat stood, an evil smile spreading on his face. It was Jasper! He turned towards us, cackling, as his smile grew even further, becoming horrifying and grotesque.
EDITORS NOTE: THIS IS VERY UNCALLED FOR
“YOU CANNOT STOP MY PLAN!!!!!” he crowed with a triumphant gaze. “It’s too late. Ubique is no more.” We gasped, how could things have come to this? But we only faltered for but a second, with a scream, we charged forward at this evil being so similar to if the top half of Benedict Cumberbatch got put in a toaster for 2 hours. His eyes widened. He may have thought he could trick us from behind the screen, but face-to-face, he was no match. Like a bowling ball, we flung him out of the window,
EDITORS NOTE: AAAAAAAAAAAAA
and he sailed across the skyline as his screams slowly faded. And with that, our foe was vanquished. The vice-principals clapped, and a rainbow bloomed across the sky. Ubique was saved. High-fiving, we recommenced our journey to 1012, ready for snacks.