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BY AMELIE PEPYAT

Wake up, eat breakfast, go to school, eat dinner and go to sleep. Wake up, eat breakfast, go to school, eat dinner and go to sleep. This was the repetitive life of my seven year old self, until it all spiralled into an endless dark tunnel. My favourite colour for a long time was Purple, any shade of it. I had painted my bedroom walls in a light lilac, and bought every single purple shirt I saw. Until purple became grief, became a colour of death, a colour of a tragic thing.

My Uncle Jay and I didn’t have a very close relationship, but on occasional weekends he would take my cousin and I shopping in the town of Fairfield. Every time we’d get dressed in our nicest dresses, and beg Jay to take us into the fairy shop. Like always, he’d cave and agree. I chose the most purple dress in the shop, decorated with purple silk roses and a glittery skirt. After changing into our fairy outfits, we put on our tiaras and walked down to the river. We sat there for a while, watching the ducks and swans swim by. Little did I know this would be the last time we’d all have a shopping trip together. Like usual, I woke up, ate breakfast and went to school. I waved my mum goodbye, and rode my purple and pink bike to school with my brother. I sat in class waiting for the final bell to ring, when the phone started chiming away. My teacher answered it as I was talking to my friends about whatever my seven year old self was interested in. The phone call ended, and my teacher approached me and explained my auntie would be

picking me up. This had never happened before, so I was excited, an afternoon spent with my cousins at their big house. After eating all the sugar I could at my Aunties, my mum came and picked my brother and I up. We kept asking questions, but received very minimal answers. So as we arrived in our garage, Mum ushered us into her bedroom. My dad was home early, which was weird since he worked far away.

“ Jays dead. “ Two words I thought I’d never have to hear at seven. My first instinctive response was to hug my parents, I hugged my dad as he sobbed into my shoulder, he had lost his closest brother. Everything else from this day is hard to remember, I blocked it all out to protect my innocence. The one thing I vividly remember is asking my Mum if I could write a speech for the funeral. I got out my purple diary, and a pink glitter pen and started writing. Never did I think about death, nor really have an understanding of it but one thing I knew was Jay wouldn’t be taking me and my cousin to new places anymore. Mum and I went shopping to purchase

something to wear to the funeral. I picked out a purple dress like always, but she said no, and took out a black and white dress for me.

The day came where we had to farewell Jay. I took my purple diary, and sat in the car waiting for my parents. I fiddled with the diamond on the front of my dress. When we arrived at the venue, and walked in, distant family members comforted my dad, and friends shook his hand. Mum didn’t let go of his arm, but made sure my brother and I were close to her at all times. We made our way to the front of the pews, I looked up from the ground and saw a purple coffin. The place my uncle was laying was covered in my favourite colour. A deep purple was in front of my eyes, and that’s where I lost my love for it. I knew any remnant of purple would remind me of Jay. As the service continued, images of me and Jay popped up on the screen. In my purple dress I was hugging Jay so tight. My eyes filled with tears, as my cousin and I were called to read our speeches. She went first, and read hers aloud. Once hers was over it was my turn, and being too nervous to stuff it up, my Uncle Benn read it instead. The service ended with the Beatles ‘ Here comes the Sun.’ 

The drive home was even worse than anything I’d ever experienced, complete silence, and the occasional ticking of the indicator. I kept my vision on the fading sun in the sky, and as it crept behind the surrounding mountains the sky began to turn. It turned bright purple. I didn’t say anything, and have never said anything about this day or series of days. But that sunset, the hint of purple in the sky, was Jay’s final farewell. Even now, years later, my fifteen year old self looks at every sunset. Looking for the small hint of Jay reminding me it’s okay, and that he misses me as much as I and all my family miss him.