How to NOT Make Friends
By Nhien Nguyen & Justin Nguyen
We’ll admit, making friends is a crucial part of human life, especially during high school when your brains are still developing. Friends provide us with a support system, someone to confide in, and a source of joy and laughter. They can help us navigate the challenges and uncertainties of life and can be there to celebrate our successes and accomplishments. Of course that is not what we are going to be talking about. Instead, we will be going over ways to make yourself to be the most unlikeable person to walk on the face of planet Earth!
“What’s deodorant?”
What is worse than having to sit next to a person that does not have a sense of what hygiene is? As a student, you may be familiar with situations where you must share a desk with people who don't practice good hygiene. This may be from atrocious breath or just the lack of deodorant but with that odour lingering in the air, it is not just a matter of smell, but the spread of disease! These people would never cover their faces when coughing or sneezing and will always show up to school even in their worst state. Being unhygienic isn't just a way to not make friends but also to always have people stay at a twenty-meter radius away from you!
"You know you're #1 so why not show it?"
Being with somebody that thinks they are better than everybody else is beyond insufferable. Sometimes, it seems like you can’t go five minutes without them showing their inflated ego. Oftentimes, it is just an overly average guy thinking they are some god-like being. Narcissistic people often use more complicated vocabulary in hopes of impressing their peers and their ultimate goal is to get praise. You’d often find yourself being ignored as they don’t think ‘you are worth their time’. At that stage, it is best to be ignored and let them be alone with their own thoughts because clearly, they love themselves too much.
“Bro you are not funny”
If you want to have no friends, one of the foundations of that is to try and be unfunny. We don’t just mean being dull and boring to everyone around you (although that is a great way to get no friends and could definitely work in its own way), we want you to just be unfunny to the point where everyone finds you obnoxious. If that is difficult for you, we recommend using Youtube Shorts as your main sense of humour and make sure to always try and have the most irritating laugh so your presence is known by everyone.
“Marvel is better than DC!”
Opinions do obviously matter, but it is a known fact that the majority of Marvel fans tend to be simple-minded and will do whatever it takes when it comes to defending their “culture”. These people would always have nothing better to say or do besides rewatching Marvel movies and talking about its superiority in writing. Making your whole personality revolve around Marvel just makes you an annoyance to be with as you really have no personality at all besides being a social reject.
“Ew”
Probably one of our more controversial takes on this article, and by all means, this is more of just a supporting factor to be hated if used correctly. Let’s face it ‘pretty privilege’ is a thing, it is a known fact that more ‘conventionally attractive’ people are treated better in society. This does not only apply to physical appearance but also to how you portray yourself. Posture, personality, dress sense and of course looks play an important role in making you appear attractive. An effective way of not making friends is by looking completely unpresentable. This can include having toxic characteristics, practising bad posture and wearing clothes that make you look like a clown or wearing the same outfit to make people know you really have no standards.
Please understand that this article isn’t meant to be serious, but of course, we still do rather avoid people who don’t practise good hygiene. Nevertheless, use these with your own caution and get out there to be the most unwanted person in the world!